Poetry

You MAR me

Maybe I am a tad bit naïve
A little too easily trusting
Definitely too much of a love giver
And not a receiver of the same compassion

I am scarred internally
From all the lies, the hurt and pain
I am in constant somnolence
I am almost numb

Baby you have made me a cog
Motionless…deterred…stock-still
I have no more faith in your devotion to this connection
My body no longer craves your touch

I have not words to express the deadness of my heart
As it sinks deeper in misery
Trying to copulate
Trying to revive my own self worth
It’s a futile exercise at this instant
But it will get better

I took a sizeable gamble loving you
And now that I have lost all
I have me left and that counts for a life
So march on, victorious
Another victim in your bag of conquest

Shine on ke s’tandwa
Ring on me if you please
Strangle me if you so covet
If it makes you more of a man
Hurt me again
But you shunt impair my love – NEVER
I will LOVE again

Mihlali Gqada